i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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