If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The uberlube is also flammable
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
