DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
