Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
