dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
