epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize