yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize