I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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