He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
