We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize