i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
