PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
