And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
