There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
