none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
