3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
