So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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