I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
