dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize