hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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