I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
