what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
His nipple licking is glorious
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