we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
