I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize