Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
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