I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
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her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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