I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
