My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
