I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
