even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I am full of burrito and curiosity
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize