So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Randomize
