U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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