dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
