he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
