it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
