it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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