You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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