i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
