Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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