but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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