In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
