All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
