Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
