3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
