hotel room ftw
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
