absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
