32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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