i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
