its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
