Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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