wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
