i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
