There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I am mentally ready for anal.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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