Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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