Don't make out with my wife yet
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
