I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There's always time for handjobs
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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