you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
