I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
