Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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