I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
