I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
